Something wrong with me?

My goodness Caleb; it's obvious you're very intelligent! The self-probing questions you've posed are really impressive and beyond your years (sadly beyond the years of some in their 20's and 30's still!) and I can really relate to some of the issues you mentioned. Speaking from personal experience, and I'm in my 30's now - I can tell you're extremely self-aware. Being self-aware is both a blessing and a curse. It can help one reach higher levels of self improvement by humbly yzing ones shortcomings, attempting to make necessary changes and then doing an internal check as it were to see where we now stand on that issue. However, it can also be a curse. yzing every minute detail about ones actions and motivations can cause one to eventually become very anxious and very self conscious. The specific questions you posed are very astute. I too found it extremely easy to feel like I almost loved someone I hadn't known long and I also really only gelled with older ones when I was in my early/mid teens. And yes, the near idolizing of someone you thought was brilliant and then when you see they aren't perfect, you begin feeling superior - I totally understand how you feel, and yes, it's quite normal for someone your age. As to your question about why you want to flaunt your diagnosis as it were... I know with myself, because I felt sooo different from my peers when I was a teen, and because I didn't feel I could identify with my own parents who I felt minimized me and really didn't offer the amount of love, attention and praise a child should be given, I began to look for attention from negative sources, ie. the illnesses you've adopted. While it's certainly not impossible for teens to have a diagnosis of Bipolar, Schizo-Affective or Borderline Personality Disorders, I can only go off of what you've written here and extrapalate. And I think perhaps that some of the isolation you might feel from your peers, coupled with your intelligence and perhaps (and I'm going to go out on a limb here) a lack of praise equal to that which you need and deserve from your folks or other older ones in your life who are very important to you, is making you believe that something MUST be wrong with you. As I said, it's possible, but I really feel that you might perhaps be cursed such as I was; with being beyond your years and being accutely self aware. The mood swings unfortunately are status quo for your age and so is a disenchantment with ones you initially idolized. So perhaps, instead of reinforcing in your mind that there is and has always been something wrong with you, you can start praising yourself as much if not more and feel secure in the fact that you really are a wonderful, intelligent person with a big heart who unfortunately has a few more years of experiencing the unpleasantries incidental to youth. But hang in there Caleb. You're more than half way to becoming a great man!